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Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. v.2

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. v. 2
The plans, A and B, illustrate the refurbishment of a health centre in two different years (2005 and the present). Overall, there have been massive changes in the health centre over the period given. The centre has clearly been enlarged and its layout has also been changed to meet the demand. In 2005, the main entrance was located in front of the health centre with 12 car parking spaces outside. From the main entrance, there were some seats along the hallway for clients to wait for consultation. At the end of the hallway, there was a reception desk for clients to register. In addition, an office and a consultation room were located on the left of the desk, and on its right, there were two more consultation rooms. Finally, a physiotherapy room was built behind the desk. In the present day, the layout of the centre has been revised. The main entrance is now situated in the left corner of the centre with a reception desk and an area for children to play. Meanwhile, there is a large common area in the middle of the centre for clients where seats are available alongside the wall. All original rooms and a newly added room called the minor operations room, on the other hand, are now allocated to the common area. Finally, the size of the car park increased by twice with 30 spaces.
The plans, A and B, illustrate the refurbishment of a health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years (2005 and the present).
Overall
, there have been massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
. The
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
has
clearly
been enlarged
and its layout has
also
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand.

In 2005, the main entrance
was located
in front of the health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
with 12 car parking spaces outside. From the main entrance, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
seats along the hallway for clients to wait for consultation. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the hallway, there was a reception desk for clients to register.
In addition
, an office and a consultation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
were located
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
of the desk, and on its right, there were two more consultation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
.
Finally
, a physiotherapy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
was built
behind the desk.

In the present day, the layout of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
has
been revised
. The main entrance is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
situated in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
corner of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
with a reception desk and an area for children to play. Meanwhile, there is a large common area in the middle of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for clients where seats are available alongside the wall. All original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
and a
newly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
called the minor operations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
,
on the other hand
, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
allocated to the common area.
Finally
, the size of the car park increased by twice with 30 spaces.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS academic Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
232 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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