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Pie charts show information about bowen island's tourists

Pie charts show information about bowen island's tourists OVOOE
The pie charts show the aspects of Bowen island that tourists enjoy the most and the least. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the most people like Bowen island because of the scenery and people. However, unspoilt nature of islands there is little in the way of entertainment combined with high cost of living makes it unlikely to appeal everyone. Bowen island has many features that attract eyes but the most popular are the scenery any people with more than one third to 42% of the visitors listing these as main advantages. While standard cost for accomodation on the island appears to be more than adequate with 11% of visitors. Listing this as an advantage 12% of respondents find culture of island as a major attraction. However the island seems far from being a perfect tourists destination. When it comes to drawbacks of island the high cost of living poor weather and lack of entertainment are seen as the worst of those where all combined provide 90% of the total disadvantages. Despite of high cost of living 10% of visitors complain about poor food conditions.
The pie charts
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show
the aspects of Bowen
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island
that tourists enjoy the most and the least.
Overall
, it can be
clearly
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seen
that the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like Bowen
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island
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the scenery and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
,
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unspoilt
nature of
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islands
there is
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little
in the way of entertainment combined with high
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cost
of living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it unlikely to appeal everyone. Bowen
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island
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
features that attract eyes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most popular are the scenery any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with more than one third to 42% of the visitors listing these as main advantages. While standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
appears to be more than adequate with 11% of visitors. Listing this as an advantage 12% of respondents find culture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
as a major attraction.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the
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island
seems far from being a perfect
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "tourists'" or "tourist's"?
tourists
destination. When it
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comes
to drawbacks of
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island
the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of living poor weather and lack of entertainment are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the worst of those where all combined provide 90% of the total disadvantages.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of living 10% of visitors complain about poor food conditions.
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IELTS academic Pie charts show information about bowen island's tourists

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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