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The bar group provide the information about the percentage of students who are proficient in second language in different countries

The bar group provide the information about the percentage of students who are proficient in second language in different countries xmWoy
the bar graph show that information about the ratio of a male and female who have expert in second language in six countries. over all, it is manifest the more number of female are proficient in foreign language than male and then male and percentages student in higher in India and in Romania. it is crystal clear from the bar graph that an astonishing ratio of the puplis who are expert in second language in India account to be female 53. 3% which is followed by male 55%. The fraction of men are expert in foreign language in China is 18%. The ratio of the puplis are skillful in foreign language in Romania is 42% male and significant in incline by female 62%. Shifting attention towards the rest of the details, that a minor differences is noticed between the fraction of students who are accomplished in foreign language in Thailand, with 30% gentleman and 28% ladies. The percentile of students in Russia who are expert in foreign language is 35% female and 42% male. The figure of girls and boys who are proficient in second language in Vietnam, with 38% for male and 68% for ladies.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
bar graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that information about the ratio of a male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expert
in second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in six countries.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
over
all, it is manifest the more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
are proficient in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
than male and then male and percentages student in higher in India and in Romania.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the bar graph that an astonishing ratio of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
puplis
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expert
in second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in India account to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
53. 3% which
is followed
by male 55%. The fraction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expert
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in China is 18%. The ratio of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
puplis
are skillful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in Romania is 42% male and significant in incline by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
62%. Shifting attention towards the rest of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, that a minor differences
is noticed
between the fraction of students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are accomplished
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in Thailand, with 30% gentleman and 28% ladies. The percentile of students in Russia
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expert
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is 35%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
and 42% male. The figure of girls and boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are proficient in second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in Vietnam, with 38% for male and 68% for ladies.
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IELTS academic The bar group provide the information about the percentage of students who are proficient in second language in different countries

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
196 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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