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Pie chart for accessing the news

Pie chart for accessing the news Xyl7g
We are given two pie charts which demonstrate the first news source for Nigerians who live just in the rural areas and Germans through a normal week. Nigerians get more than half of news by watching TV whereas only three tenth of Germans do so. Newspaper is the main source of news for German people with45%readers, but in Nigeria, 13%of urban cenetarians read newspaper in order to access the news. Radio is used over one fifth by Nigerians for obtaining news where 10%of Germans listen to the radio. Using the internet to access the news is more relevant for Germans than Nigerians because over one tenth of Germans use internet as a news source but only 1% of Nigerians surf the net for news. Overall, the main news sources for both Germans and Nigerians are TV and newspaper, with Germans using newspaper more than TV as a news source where Nigerians watch TV to access the news, more.
We are
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given
two pie charts which demonstrate the
first
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news
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source
for Nigerians who
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live
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just
in the rural areas and Germans through a normal week. Nigerians
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get
more than half of
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news
by watching TV whereas
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only
three tenth of Germans do
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so
.
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Newspaper
is the main
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source
of
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news
for German
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people
with45%readers,
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but
in Nigeria, 13%of urban
Possible spelling mistake found.
cenetarians
read
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newspaper
in order to access the
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news
. Radio is
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used
over one fifth by Nigerians for obtaining
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news
where 10%of Germans listen to the radio. Using the internet to access the
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news
is more relevant for Germans than Nigerians
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because
over one tenth of Germans
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use
internet as a
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news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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only
1% of Nigerians surf the net for
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news
.
Overall
, the main
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news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
for both Germans and Nigerians are TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
, with Germans using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
more than TV as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
where Nigerians
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV to access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, more.
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IELTS academic Pie chart for accessing the news

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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