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The line chart changes in the figures for packages transferred by two major mails services namely FedEx and TNT between 1920 and 2000.

The line chart changes in the figures for packages transferred by two major mails services namely FedEx and TNT between 1920 and 2000. Ql5Mb
The line chart changes in the figures for packages transferred by two major mails services namely FedEx and TNT between 1920 and 2000. Overall, it is worth highlighting that while the figure for packages transferred by TNT increased significantly during a 40-year period starting from 1960, from 1920 to 1960 experienced a wild fluctuation in the number of parcels delivered by FedEx. Besides, at the beginning of the given timescale, packages transferred by FedEx was the most favoured type of mail services companies, however, throughout the last forty years of the given period, TNT has gained the most belief from customers. At the beginning of the given period, while there was a rising trend in the figure for how much packages transferred by FedEx and peak at below 25000 in 1940, from 1940 to 1960 witnessed a falling trend in the number of parcels delivered by FedEx and the lowest figure at around 12000 and it had almost halved to around 12000. Furthermore, starting from 1985 to the end of the period, the quantity of packages delivered by FedEx increased markedly. In term of TNT mail services company, the trend followed the same rising as FedEx, there was a substantial growth the last forty years of the given course of time and reach the highest at around 25000 in 2000. While, a slight upward trend was seen between 1920 and 1960 and level off the lowest by 5000 in 1920.
The line chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
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figures
for
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packages
transferred by two major mails services
namely
FedEx and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
between 1920 and 2000.

Overall
, it is worth highlighting that while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packages
transferred by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
increased
significantly
during a 40-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
starting from 1960, from 1920 to 1960 experienced a wild fluctuation in the number of parcels delivered by FedEx.
Besides
, at the beginning of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
timescale,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packages
transferred by FedEx was the most
Possible spelling mistake. 'favoured' is British English.
favoured
type of mail services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
however
, throughout the last forty years of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
has gained the most belief from customers.

At the beginning of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, while there was a rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packages
transferred by FedEx and peak at below 25000 in 1940, from 1940 to 1960 witnessed a falling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
in the number of parcels delivered by FedEx and the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
at around 12000 and it had almost halved to around 12000.
Furthermore
, starting from 1985 to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packages
delivered by FedEx increased
markedly
.

In term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
mail services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
followed the same rising as FedEx, there was a substantial growth the last forty years of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
course of time and reach the highest at around 25000 in 2000. While, a slight upward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
between 1920 and 1960 and level off the lowest by 5000 in 1920.
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IELTS academic The line chart changes in the figures for packages transferred by two major mails services namely FedEx and TNT between 1920 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
240 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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