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pie chart and tables show the worldwide degradadation

pie chart and tables show the worldwide degradadation 8Q6kk
The pie chart depicts the information about the causes of worldwide land degradation and the table shows these affected by three region such as North America, Europe, and Oceania during the 1990s. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the maximum causes of less productivity is over grazing and total land degraded is maximum in Europe and at least in North America. From the pie chart, the maximum causes of worldwide land degradation is over grazing with account 35% of agriculture land and another reason is deforestation which is 30%. While, over-cultivation accounted for 28% and the least reasons are other category about 5%. According to the table, the highest percentage of land degradation is 23% in Europe in the 1990s and other two regions are followed by North America and Oceania were 5% and 13% respectively.
The pie chart depicts the information about the causes of worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
degradation and the table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'region' seems to be countable, so consider using: "regions".
region
such as North America, Europe, and Oceania during the 1990s.

Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the maximum causes of less productivity is over grazing and total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
degraded is maximum in Europe and at least in North America.

From the pie chart, the maximum causes of worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
degradation is over grazing with account 35% of agriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
and another reason is deforestation which is 30%. While, over-cultivation accounted for 28% and the least reasons are other category about 5%.

According to the table, the highest percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
degradation is 23% in Europe in the 1990s and other two regions
are followed
by North America and Oceania were 5% and 13%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic pie chart and tables show the worldwide degradadation

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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