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Percentage of water used by six countries in the world

Percentage of water used by six countries in the world A3Ly3
The pie chart gives information about the proportion of water usage and its purposes by six countries around the continent. All units are expressed in percentages. Overall, four ( that's South America, Africa, South East Asia and Central Asia) out the six countries used much proportion of their water for agricultural purposes. To begin with the American's, ( south and North Americans) South America used about two thirds of their water for agricultural purposes representing 71% whilst North America used their highest proportion in their industries (that is 48%). Less quantity of water was used by the North Americans for domestic purposes as compared to the South American's who used less for industrial purposes (10%). Meanwhile, comparing the Europeans and the blacks (Africans), the Europeans used more water for industrial purposes, whilst the Africans used more for agricultural purposes. This can be attributed to more industries in the Europe and that of Africa can be likened to more farming activities. In terms of the Asian continent, the two Asian countries rate of usage of water for domestic purposes was same but the only difference was the use for industrial purposes, of which South Esat Asia used more water than their counterparts in the Central part representing 12% and 5% respectively.
The pie chart gives information about the proportion of
water
usage and its
purposes
by six countries around the continent. All units
are expressed
in percentages.
Overall
, four
(
that's South America, Africa, South East Asia and Central Asia) out the six countries
used
much proportion of their
water
for agricultural purposes.

To
begin
with the American's,
(
south and North Americans) South America
used
about two thirds of their
water
for agricultural
purposes
representing 71% whilst North America
used
their highest proportion in their industries (
that is
48%). Less quantity of
water
was
used
by the North Americans for domestic
purposes
as compared to the South American's who
used
less for industrial
purposes
(10%). Meanwhile, comparing the Europeans and the blacks (Africans), the Europeans
used
more
water
for industrial
purposes
, whilst the Africans
used
more for agricultural
purposes
. This can
be attributed
to more industries in the Europe and that of Africa can
be likened
to more farming activities.

In terms of the Asian continent, the two Asian countries rate of usage of
water
for domestic
purposes
was same
but
the
only
difference was the
use
for industrial
purposes
, of which South
Esat
Asia
used
more
water
than their counterparts in the Central part representing 12% and 5%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Percentage of water used by six countries in the world

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
210 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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