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Caribbeam island which is measured in percentage between 2010 and 2017

Caribbeam island which is measured in percentage between 2010 and 2017 mb6PK
The given graph illustrates various trends of number of tourists visiting at Caribbeam island which is measured in percentage between 2010 and 2017. it presents three different methods (tourists who are staying on cruise ships, staying on island and total number of visitors) Overall, all three type of visitors who stayed at cruise ships, who stayed on island and total number of visitor had fluctuated and improved after 2012, while the upward trend for the former began in 2016. In 2010, the majority of one million tourist visited island. In contrast, staying at ships was not common at all at only 0. 25 million. Also, although people had started to staying on island, it only represented 0. 75 million. as staying on cruise ships began to fall, people who staying on island started to rise. they rose steadily and cruise ships was more preferable and overtook in 2016. During the same period, visitors doubled to more than 2. 5 million but then it started to grow dramatically. Visitors who staying on cruise peaked in 2016 at 1. 25 million then it rose to 1. 5 million in 2017. This was slightly higher than staying on island, which goes to 2 million. Total number of tourists other hand overtook both of them and accounted for 3. 5 million in 2017.
The
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given
graph illustrates various trends of
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number
of
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tourists
visiting at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Caribbeam
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island
which
is measured
in percentage between 2010 and 2017.
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it
presents three
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different
methods
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(tourists
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who
are
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staying
on
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cruise
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ships
,
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staying
on
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island
and total
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number
of visitors)

Overall
, all three type of visitors
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who
stayed at
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cruise
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ships
,
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who
stayed on
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island
and total
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number
of visitor had fluctuated and
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improved
after 2012, while the upward trend for the former began in 2016.

In 2010, the majority of one
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million
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tourist
visited
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island
.
In contrast
,
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staying
at
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ships
was not common at all at
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only
0. 25
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million
.
Also
, although
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people
had
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started
to
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staying
on
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island
, it
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only
represented 0. 75
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million
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
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staying
on
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cruise
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ships
began to fall,
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people
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who
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staying
on
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island
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started
to rise.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
rose
steadily
and
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cruise
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ships
was more preferable and overtook in 2016. During the same period, visitors doubled to more than 2. 5
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million
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then it
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started
to grow
dramatically
.

Visitors
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who
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staying
on
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cruise
peaked in 2016 at 1. 25
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million
then it rose to 1. 5
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million
in 2017. This was
slightly
higher than
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staying
on
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island
, which goes to 2
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million
. Total
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
other hand overtook both of them and accounted for 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2017.

IELTS academic Caribbeam island which is measured in percentage between 2010 and 2017

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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