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Percentage of Oil usage and oil produced by different countries

Percentage of Oil usage and oil produced by different countries wxlAd
This diagram illustrates the percentage of oil production found in different countries and regions of the world, moreover, it also depicts utilization of the oil in the world. In conclusion, the Middle East is producing significant percentage of oil followed by Canada. While, Asia and USA are on top of consumption list. Middle East is extracting 56. 52 percent of overall worlds oil, whereas, it is only using 6. 15 percent of the total production. Hence, they are the largest exporter of Oil in the globe. Canada, Central and South America are production is 14. 84 and 8. 12 respectively. It is pertinent to mention here that, both are consuming less than their available resources as there overall annual usage is 2. 48% and 6. 70%. On the other hand Asia is the largest consumer of Oil in the word with 26. 21 percent, while, they only produce 2. 89 percent. This seems they are the major importer of Oil. USA is second at consumption list as its yearly demand for oil is 25. 48 percent of the whole world percentage and only extract 1. 85 percent oil.
This diagram illustrates the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
production found in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries and regions of the world,
moreover
, it
also
depicts utilization of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
in the world.

In conclusion
, the Middle East is producing significant percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
followed by Canada. While, Asia and USA are on top of consumption list.

Middle East is extracting 56. 52
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percent
of
overall
worlds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
, whereas, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
using 6. 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the total production.
Hence
, they are the largest exporter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Oil
in the globe.

Canada, Central and South America are production is 14. 84 and 8. 12
respectively
. It is pertinent to mention here that, both are consuming less than their available resources as there
overall
annual usage is 2. 48% and 6. 70%.

On the other hand
Asia is the largest consumer of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Oil
in the word with 26. 21
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, while, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
produce 2. 89
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. This seems they are the major importer of Oil.

USA is second at consumption list as its yearly demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
is 25. 48
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of the whole world percentage and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
extract 1. 85
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oil
.
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IELTS academic Percentage of Oil usage and oil produced by different countries

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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