Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Comparitive work force distribution of Great Britin, 1930 to 1932

Comparitive work force distribution of Great Britin, 1930 to 1932 R2oPV
These two pie charts compare how the percentage of the labour force was distributed in 1932 and 1992 in Great Britain. In 1932, 25% of the workforce were unemployed. Of those who had a job the largest percentage worked in the industrial sector (45%), followed by similar percentages in the services and in the agriculture and fishing sectors at 15% for the former and 12% for the latter. Only 3% were employed by the government. Turning to 1992, there were major changes in the distribution of the workforce. Most significantly, a far lower percentage of people were unemployed (10%). Similarly, the percentage of workers in the industrial sector declined dramatically to a very low 15%. The rate in the agriculture and fishing sectors also decreased, but only slightly to 8%. In contrast, the size of the government sector and that of the services sector increased substantially, the former to 15% and the latter to 52%. In general, over the last 60 years there have been major changes in the relative size of the major employment sectors in the British economy.
These two pie charts compare how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force
was distributed
in 1932 and 1992 in Great Britain.

In 1932, 25% of the workforce
were unemployed
. Of those who had a job the largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
worked in the industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
(45%), followed by similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
in the services and in the agriculture and fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
at 15% for the former and 12% for the latter.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
3%
were employed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Turning to 1992, there were major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the distribution of the workforce. Most
significantly
, a far lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were unemployed
(10%).
Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of workers in the industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
declined
dramatically
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low 15%. The rate in the agriculture and fishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
also
decreased,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
slightly
to 8%.
In contrast
, the size of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
and that of the services
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
increased
substantially
, the former to 15% and the latter to 52%.
In general
, over the last 60 years there have been major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the relative size of the major employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in the British economy.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Comparitive work force distribution of Great Britin, 1930 to 1932

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
180 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Comparitive work force distribution of Great Britin, 1930 to 1932