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Percentage of British People from Different Age Ranges that Donated Money to Charity

Percentage of British People from Different Age Ranges that Donated Money to Charity 70Rw5
The bar chart below illustrates the percentage of the British population, from different age groups, that donated money to charity during the years of 1990 and 2010. In 1990, more people from the first three age groups gave money to charity than in 2010 whereas the last two age ranges depict the opposite. Additionally, there was a gradual increase in both years followed by steady decline with the peak donations falling within the age ranges 36-50 and 51-65 respectively. Furthermore, the year 1990 shows a greater percentage of donations, ranging from approximately 15%-40%, within the 18-50 age categories while 2010 portrays a lesser percentage, which varied from 5% - 35%. After the 42% peak, in 1990, a lesser portion of the British population made offerings to charity while a similar situation happened in 2010 after it’s 40% peak. Also, during 1990, British people ranging from ages 18 - 50 tend to have been more generous with their contributions than in 2010; however this was the complete opposite in 2010 as those older than 50 gave more.
The bar chart below illustrates the percentage of the British population, from
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different
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age
groups, that donated money to charity during the years of 1990 and 2010.

In 1990, more
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people
from the
first
three
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age
groups gave money to charity than in 2010 whereas the last two
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age
ranges depict the opposite.
Additionally
, there was a gradual increase in both years followed by steady decline with the peak donations falling within the
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age
ranges 36-50 and 51-65
respectively
.

Furthermore
, the year 1990
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shows
a greater percentage of donations, ranging from approximately 15%-40%, within the 18-50
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age
categories while 2010 portrays a lesser percentage, which varied from 5%
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
35%. After the 42% peak, in 1990, a lesser portion of the British population made offerings to charity while a similar situation happened in 2010 after it’s 40% peak.

Also
, during 1990, British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ranging from
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ages
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
18 - 50
tend to have been more generous with their contributions than in 2010;
however
this was the complete opposite in 2010 as those older than 50 gave more.

IELTS academic Percentage of British People from Different Age Ranges that Donated Money to Charity

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 5.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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