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percentage of boys and girls participate in 4 kinds of sports

percentage of boys and girls participate in 4 kinds of sports 1ndnA
The bar chart compares the rates of females and males who participate in four kind of sport outside school hours, namlely swimming, football, netball, baseball and no sports. It is clear that more boys interested in swimming, football, baseball than the figure for girls, while the proportion of female students choosing netball are higher than the data for male students. Notably, the percentage of boys take part in football is highest (around 20%), which is fivefold higher than girls. In the interim, the proportion of male students join in swimming stand at nearly 16%, compared to the the figure for female students (13%). Meanwhile, there is roughly 7% of male students choosing baseball, which is 1% higher than that of female students. Girl participants in netball witness the highest proportion with around 17% of students, whilst the data for boy participants are much lower, reaching approximately 3%. By contrast, the percentage of female students who does not play sport being at 4%, whereas there is 1% higher in the proportion of male students who are not interested in any sport.
The bar chart compares the rates of
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females
and
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males
who participate in four kind of
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sport
outside school hours,
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namlely
swimming, football, netball, baseball and no
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sports
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that more boys interested in swimming, football, baseball than the figure for girls, while the
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proportion
of
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
choosing netball are higher than the data for male students.

Notably
, the percentage of boys
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in football is highest (around 20%), which is fivefold higher than girls. In the interim, the
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proportion
of male
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in swimming stand at
nearly
16%, compared to
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
figure for
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female
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students
(13%). Meanwhile, there is roughly 7% of male
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students
choosing baseball, which is 1% higher than that of
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female
students.

Girl participants in netball witness the highest
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proportion
with around 17% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, whilst the data for boy participants are much lower, reaching approximately 3%. By contrast, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who does not play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
being at 4%, whereas there is 1% higher in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are not interested in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
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IELTS academic percentage of boys and girls participate in 4 kinds of sports

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
180 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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