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Percentage changes in earnings of country's export

Percentage changes in earnings of country's export pXDdd
The given bar graph depicts information about the earnings of country's exports in different categories in the year 2016 as compared to 2015 in the table on the other hand shows the percentage change in the exports for those years. Starting with the petroleum products which are the countries most profitable goods had an increase of 3% and the second most profitable goat civil engineer goods with gain 8. 5 % of supplies and crossed 60 billion of earnings in 2016. Coming to agriculture products there is form increase of 0. 81 % whereas textiles had done great boost of 15. 24 % allowing it to earn more than 30 billion in 2016 which was 25 billion in 2015. Although gems and jewellery being 3rd profitable goods of the country had a follow 5. 18 percent. In conclusion the country managed to gain profits in the year 2016 as compared to 2015.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graph depicts information about the earnings of country's exports in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories in the year 2016 as compared to 2015 in the table
on the other hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the exports for those years. Starting with the petroleum products which are the countries most profitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
had an increase of 3% and the second most profitable goat civil engineer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with gain 8. 5 % of supplies and crossed 60 billion of earnings in 2016. Coming to agriculture products there is form increase of 0. 81 % whereas textiles had done great boost of 15. 24 % allowing it to earn more than 30 billion in 2016 which was 25 billion in 2015. Although gems and
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
being 3rd profitable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
of the country had a follow 5. 18 percent.
In conclusion
the country managed to gain profits in the year 2016 as compared to 2015.
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IELTS academic Percentage changes in earnings of country's export

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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