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people who go to store to eat fast food

people who go to store to eat fast food 8LXYV
The bar chart illustrate how frequently people in the USA ate fast food in restaurants between 2003 to 2013. People usually ate fast food was less than 5% that the chart showed in2003 was more than 2006 as well as 2013. In contrary 2006 and 2013 that maintained the same level. People who went to the shop several time a week in 2006 increased from 2003 but in 2013 declined from 2006 as well as 2003. Person who go to ate fast food once a week in2006 rose from 2003. Moreover in 2013 it decreased from 2006. Once or twice a month in 2006 that fall from2003 also in 2013 grew from 2006. People that went to take in shop a few times a year in 2006 that climbed up from 2003, In contrary in2006 as well as 2013 that remained stable. The last of the chart is the people who never went to ate fast food shop in 2006 that dropped from 2003. Moreover in 2006 and 2013 it remained unchanged.
The bar chart illustrate how
frequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the USA
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in restaurants
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2003 and 2013".
between 2003 to 2013
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was less than 5% that the chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
in2003 was more than 2006
as well
as 2013. In contrary 2006 and 2013 that maintained the same level.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who went to the shop several time a week in 2006 increased from 2003
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2013 declined from 2006
as well
as 2003.

Person who go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
once a week in2006 rose from 2003.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
in 2013 it decreased from 2006.

“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
or twice a month in 2006 that fall from2003
also
in 2013 grew from 2006.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
that went to take in shop a few times a year in 2006 that climbed up from 2003, In contrary in2006
as well
as 2013 that remained stable.

The last of the chart is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who never went to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shop in 2006 that dropped from 2003.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
in 2006 and 2013 it remained unchanged.
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IELTS academic people who go to store to eat fast food

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
172 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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