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People regard animals as a source of food or clothes, and others think that they should be treated like pets.State your opinion from both sides.

People regard animals as a source of food or clothes, and others think that they should be treated like pets. State your opinion from both sides. Aw9MM
To a certain extent, some people see animals as food, clothes and for some human goods. While some people believe that animals live as pets. In this essay I will briefly look at this phenomenon and give my own opinion. In our days. wild animals become a more and more expand among our planet occasionally. But in this case we have more disadvantages the drawbacks that advantages. For instance, wild animals have to live in their own place which they born and become habitable zone they lives. Buy sacrifice themself they give many resources for human and for their needs. The result of this people believes that we should survive and animals and plants that are lower down on the food than we are. Moreover without some types of animals we could stay hunger so we really need animals like ship, cow also hours. Therefore this is a not a wild animal and as well as they alive for our food In the different cultures of the world many people think that animals shouldn’t be like or resources and they have rights as human have. Animals also must live with their family, with their babies and like at sanctuary places also protect them. Otherwise they may disappear at our planet and we can not continue our perfect life, even can not experience without them. In conclusion we have to protect the environment’s wild animals by doing our best and also utilizing some home pets for people who need resources. It is totally wrong.
To a certain extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as food, clothes and for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
as pets. In this essay I will
briefly
look at this phenomenon and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

In our days.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
become a more and more expand among our planet
occasionally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in this case
we have more disadvantages the drawbacks that advantages.
For instance
, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place which they born and become habitable zone they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "live"
lives
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Buy
sacrifice
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
they give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
resources for human and for their needs. The result of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believes that we should survive and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants that are lower down on the food than we are.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
we could stay hunger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we
really
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like ship, cow
also
hours.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
this is a not a wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and
as well
as they alive for our food

In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures of the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
shouldn’t be like or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
resources and
they have rights as human have.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Animals
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their family, with their babies and like at sanctuary places
also
protect them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
they may disappear at our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
planet and
we can not continue our perfect life, even can not experience without them.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, we".
conclusion we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
protect the environment’s wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by doing our best and
also
utilizing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
home pets for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who need resources. It is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.

IELTS academic People regard animals as a source of food or clothes, and others think that they should be treated like pets. State your opinion from both sides.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
253 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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