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The line and table illustrate information about the theatre attendance in Australia and also depicted the average theatre visit of separate age group between 1996 and 2000

The line and table illustrate information about the theatre attendance in Australia and also depicted the average theatre visit of separate age group between 1996 and 2000 BJDYw
Overall the lion and table about the theatre attendance in Australia and overall it is clear that the maximum percentage had been remained stable of the cinema attendance in 1997 1998 and 2000 while the minimum percentile had been decreased of the cinema visit in 1996 on the one hand the proportion was declined of the cinema attendance in 1996 that was 62% but after two years the percentage had been remain stable of the attendance of population between 1997 and 1998 meanwhile around 10. 3 people had been cinema visit of all age groups in 1996 but after one year the average of cinema visit was slightly increased in 1997 that was 11% moreover approximately cinema visit had been stabilized in 1998 and 2008 was 8. 3 % on the other hand the percentage had been in client of the cinema visit in 4224 age group that was nearly 20% from 1997 but after one year the percentage had been decreased of the same age group in 1998 which was approximately 15% for the more the proportion had been depicted fluctuated of the 3549 age group in among the all age groups
Overall
the lion and table about the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attendance
in Australia and
overall
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
had
been remained
stable of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attendance
in 1997 1998 and 2000 while the minimum percentile had
been decreased
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
in 1996 on the one hand the proportion
was declined
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attendance
in 1996 that was 62%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after two years the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
had been
Consider using a past participle here: "remained".
remain
stable of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attendance
of population between 1997 and 1998 meanwhile around 10. 3
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
in 1996
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after one year the average of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
was
slightly
increased in 1997 that was 11%
moreover
approximately
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
had
been stabilized
in 1998 and 2008 was 8. 3 %
on the other hand
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
had been in client of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
in 4224
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
that was
nearly
20% from 1997
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after one year the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
had
been decreased
of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
in 1998 which was approximately 15% for the more the proportion had
been depicted
fluctuated of the 3549
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
in among the all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
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IELTS academic The line and table illustrate information about the theatre attendance in Australia and also depicted the average theatre visit of separate age group between 1996 and 2000

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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