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my favourite mean of transport

my favourite mean of transport Aw09n
I usually go to school and hang out with my friends by bike because there are many benefits when I use the bike. First, it is beneficial to my health. I'm very busy in doing working and lack physical exercise. Riding a bicycle provides me a great way to do exercise. Besides, it's quite convenient. In my city, there are many traffic jams. However, riding a bike is different because you will never be bothered by the rush hour. Finally, it helps to protect our environment because cycling does not pollute the environment. This is incredibly important in big cities.
I
usually
go to school and hang out with my friends by bike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the bike.
First
, it is beneficial to my health. I'm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy in
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "going working".
doing working
and lack physical exercise. Riding a bicycle provides me a great way to do exercise.
Besides
, it's quite convenient. In my city, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
traffic jams.
However
, riding a bike is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you will never
be bothered
by the rush hour.
Finally
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to protect our environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
cycling does not pollute the environment. This is
incredibly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
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IELTS academic my favourite mean of transport

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
100 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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