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Overweight and health problem

Overweight and health problem qkBwD
There is no doubt that, these days figuer of overweight people growing and putting a strain on the health care system. The question is, introduce more physical education in school is it the best way to deal with this problem? In this essay I am going to discuss this case and give my opinion if I agree or disagree. In terms of health problem, overweight people more susceptible to disease and health problem. There are a lot of reasons but the main reasons given to support this claim are, eat fast food and weaknesses people's workout culture, people these days spend must of their time play video games and work on laptop and eat fast food and drink soft drink because it is cheaper and testy, introduce more physical education in school is the beat way to deal with this issues. Moreover, I completely agree that is the best way to encourage students in schools to eat healthy food and workout at least 40 minutes a day to keep their health in good quality and do not getting fat. In conclusion, fast food and soft drink are cheaper but dangerous for humen heath and the best way to keep your health good is to eat healthy food and workout at least 40 minutes a day.
There is no doubt that, these days
Possible spelling mistake found.
figuer
of overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
growing and putting a strain on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system. The question is, introduce more physical education in school is it the best way to deal with this problem? In this essay I am going to discuss this case and give my opinion if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
or disagree.

In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem, overweight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more susceptible to disease and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the main reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to support this claim are,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and weaknesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's workout culture,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days spend
Did you mean "most of" or "must have"?
must of
their time play video games and work on laptop and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and drink soft drink
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is cheaper and testy, introduce more physical education in school is the beat way to deal with
Did you mean "these"?
this
issues.

Moreover
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that is
the best way to encourage students in schools to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and workout at least 40 minutes a day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality and do not
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "get"?
getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and soft drink are cheaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
humen
heath and the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and workout at least 40 minutes a day.
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IELTS academic Overweight and health problem

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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