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number of uk adolescents following a vegetaran diet

number of uk adolescents following a vegetaran diet yx51V
The graph indicates the number of united kingdom teenagers following a vegetarian, A glance at the graphs reveals that the vertical row shows the number of adolescents as individuals and the Horizontal row shows the numbers according to years. As is shown in the graph, between 1980and 1985, there was a moderately increase of following a vegetarian diets from a low of 1. 8 up to 2. 8 of teenagers. During the following ten-years period, it decreased gradually just over 2 teenagers. From 1995 to 2000, adolescents how following vegetarian diet rose steadily. From 2000 to 2004, its decreased gradually again to approximately 2. 3 of teenagers. Through 2004 to 2013 there was fluctuated. From 2013 onwards, its rose rapidly. Also in 2000, its peaked on 9. 8. Overall, in final decade there was a sharply increase of vegetarian diet. In addition the number of adolescents how following a vegetarian diet reached from lowest point to highest point was reached tenfold.
The graph indicates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
united kingdom
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
a vegetarian, A glance at the graphs reveals that the vertical row
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of adolescents as individuals and the Horizontal row
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
according to years.

As
is shown
in the graph, between 1980and 1985, there was a
You used an adverb ('moderately') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
moderately increase
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
a vegetarian diets from a low of 1. 8 up to 2. 8 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
ten-years period, it decreased
gradually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. From 1995 to 2000, adolescents how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
vegetarian diet rose
steadily
. From 2000 to 2004, its decreased
gradually
again to approximately 2. 3 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
. Through 2004 to 2013 there
was fluctuated
. From 2013 onwards, its rose
rapidly
.
Also
in 2000, its peaked on 9. 8.

Overall
, in final decade there was a
You used an adverb ('sharply') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
sharply increase
of vegetarian diet. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of adolescents how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
a vegetarian diet reached from
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
point to
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
point
was reached
tenfold.
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IELTS academic number of uk adolescents following a vegetaran diet

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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