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number of marriages and divorces in usa

number of marriages and divorces in usa kLLdn
The charts compares us divorces and marriages in U. S. A. and marital status on 1970 to 2000. Overall, it shows us weddings popularity slightly decreased time by time. At the first chart, people in U. S. A. marriage average stabilized between the given dates. In 1970 divorces is 1 million whereas in 1980 it's approximately 1. 5 million. Between 1990 and 2000 weddings slowly dropped to about 2. 3 million and 2 million respectively. At the same time divorces aldo decreased to 1. 1 million and 1 million each. At the second chart, it gives us 4 different marital status. Never married people climbed to %15 to %20. Married people fell to %70 to %59. Widowed gradually declined between this years. In 1970 divorced people are %2 and in 2000 it's rocketed to %9.
The charts
You should probably use "compare".
compares
us divorces and marriages in U. S. A. and marital status on 1970 to 2000.
Overall
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us weddings popularity
slightly
decreased time by time. At the
first
chart,
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people
in U. S. A. marriage average stabilized between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
dates. In 1970 divorces is 1
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million
whereas in 1980 it's approximately 1. 5
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million
. Between 1990 and 2000 weddings
slowly
dropped to about 2. 3
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million
and 2
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million
respectively
. At the same time divorces
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aldo
decreased to 1. 1
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million
and 1
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million
each. At the second chart, it gives us 4
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
marital status. Never married
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people
climbed to %15 to %20. Married
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people
fell to %70 to %59. Widowed
gradually
declined between
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
this years
. In 1970 divorced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are %2 and in 2000 it's rocketed to %9.
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IELTS academic number of marriages and divorces in usa

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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