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A chart shows the percentage of visitors who visits new zealand by four transport vehicle in 2004.

A chart shows the percentage of visitors who visits new zealand by four transport vehicle in 2004. kLLDW
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of visitors who visit New Zealand through four various transportation systems in 2004. Overall, it is evident from the comparison that car transport was the most preferred by tourists compared to other facilities. To begin with, 60% of the British tourists who used cars travel to New Zealand, whereas this ratio of cars travel was a decline among German, Japanese, Korean, and Australian, which was about 52%, 25%, 50%, and 45% respectively. In addition, coach travel was least popular in Australia, Germany, and England, which remarked around 9%, 20%, and 19%. However, this ratio was increased among the Japanese and the Korean population they travel used about 55% and 40% individually. On the other hand, ferry transportation was the maximum preferred by the German population and its ratio was about 47%. While, the same travel system was least used by British, Japanese and Korean which was about 35 percentage 10 percentage and nine percentage separately. lastly, Japanese tourists preferred more air travel which was about 55 percent, and this proportion was significantly decreased in British, Korean, German, and Australia, which was about 35 percentage 30 percentage 25 percentage and 11 percentage respectively.
The bar chart illustrates the
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percentage
of visitors who visit New Zealand through four various transportation systems in 2004.

Overall
, it is evident from the comparison that car transport was the most preferred by tourists compared to other facilities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, 60% of the British tourists who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to New Zealand, whereas this ratio of cars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
was a decline among German, Japanese, Korean, and Australian, which was about 52%, 25%, 50%, and 45%
respectively
.
In addition
, coach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
was least popular in Australia, Germany, and England, which remarked around 9%, 20%, and 19%.
However
, this ratio
was increased
among the Japanese and the Korean population they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
about 55% and 40%
individually
.

On the other hand
, ferry transportation was the maximum preferred by the German population and its ratio was about 47%. While, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
system was least
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by British, Japanese and Korean which was about 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
10
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percentage
and nine
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percentage
separately
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lastly
, Japanese tourists preferred more air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
which was about 55 percent, and this proportion was
significantly
decreased in British, Korean, German, and Australia, which was about 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
and 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
respectively
.
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IELTS academic A chart shows the percentage of visitors who visits new zealand by four transport vehicle in 2004.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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