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Number of males and females participated in Olampic

Number of males and females participated in Olampic Ognmj

The data illustrate the number of athletes participated in Olampic in four years (1924, 1952, 1982, and 2012) The bar graph farther show how many of the participants are male or female. Overall, there is a steady increase in the number of applicants from 1924 to 1984. This rise become steaper from 1984 to 2012. It is evident that most of the athletes are male in all four years. However, the difference between the two genders is getting significantly smaller. In 2012, there was 1000 male participants more than women, in comparison to, 3000 in 1924.

The data illustrate the number of athletes participated in Possible spelling mistake found.Olympic
Olampic
 in four years (1924, 1952, 1982, and 2012)

The bar graph farther This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :demonstrateportrayindicatedisplay
show
 how This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 of the participants are male or female.

Overall
, there is a steady increase in the number of applicants from 1924 to 1984. This rise become Possible spelling mistake found.steamersteeperstepperstealer
steaper
 from 1984 to 2012.

It is evident that most of the athletes are male in all four years. However
, the difference between the two genders is getting The extreme adjective for small is "tiny", or "minimal".tinyminimal
significantly smaller
. In 2012, there was 1000 male participants more than women, in comparison
 to, 3000 in 1924. 

IELTS academic Number of males and females participated in Olampic

Academic

American English

3 paragraphs

96 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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