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Number of Male and Female studying further education

Number of Male and Female studying further education K0X83
The bar chart below show the amount of students, male and female, studying further education in Britian in 1970 to 1990 whether they're attending full-time or part-time. Regarding full-time education, the woman group see an exponential increase in the number of attendees and reach it highest in the year 1990 with around 1100 thousands people with the lowest in the 1970 with around 750 thousands. In the other hand, male students see a fluctuate decline, with a peak number, in 1970, of 1000 thousands. It experienced significant decrease in 1980 with 850 thousands and increase in 1990 with 900 thousands. In general, both female applied for full-time and part-time education see an overall increase in population. Same trending is applied to male student studying part-time. However, the amount of men who choose to study full-time see an overall decrease.
The bar chart below
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the amount of students, male and female, studying
further
education in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Britian
in 1970 to 1990 whether they're attending full-time or part-time. Regarding full-time education, the woman group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an exponential increase in the number of attendees and reach it highest in the year 1990 with around 1100 thousands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with the lowest in the 1970 with around 750 thousands. In the other hand, male students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'fluctuate' is correct. If 'fluctuate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a fluctuate
decline, with a peak number, in 1970, of 1000 thousands. It experienced significant decrease in 1980 with 850 thousands and increase in 1990 with 900 thousands.
In general
, both female applied for full-time and part-time education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an
overall
increase in population. Same trending
is applied
to male student studying part-time.
However
, the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who choose to study full-time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an
overall
decrease.
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IELTS academic Number of Male and Female studying further education

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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