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New city as comparative to old one.

New city as comparative to old one. 2b3Qo
The two maps of centre of the town of islip give information about the city currently and future. Overall, a lot of modification can be observed during the forecast development. First of all, according to current map to the centre is close to countryside. A main road deserve houses, school and several shops and a Park. Looking more closely at the map predicting the future development of a city, a lot of modification can be observed. The size of centre will increase in oval shape, therefore the country will disappear. Over the single road will be replaced by the bigger dual carriageway. A pedestrain will deserve the central area. New houses will be built for the new facilities such as bus station and parking. The shops will be grouped in shopping mall. The next point is the garden area which will be smaller. Ad the City will have more people the school will be bigger. To sum up, between the actual map of islip town centre and the future plan development, a lot of modification are predicted. On the one hand, the city will be bigger with more facilities. On the other hand. the park will be reduced and the countryside will disappear. The city will be changed a great deal.
The two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maps
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the town of
Possible spelling mistake found.
islip
give information about the city
currently
and future.
Overall
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
modification can
be observed
during the forecast development.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
is close to countryside. A main road deserve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, school and several shops and a Park. Looking more
closely
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
predicting the future development of a city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
modification can
be observed
. The size of
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
will increase in oval shape,
therefore
the country will disappear. Over the single road will
be replaced
by the bigger dual carriageway. A
Possible spelling mistake found.
pedestrain
will deserve the central area. New
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
will
be built
for the new facilities such as bus station and parking. The shops will
be grouped
in shopping mall. The
next
point is the garden area which will be smaller. Ad the City will have more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the school will be bigger. To sum up, between the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
map
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
islip
town
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and the future plan development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
modification
are predicted
. On the one hand, the city will be bigger with more facilities.
On the other hand
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
park will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and the countryside will disappear. The city will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a great deal.
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IELTS academic New city as comparative to old one.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
211 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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