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Nepal Grave describe how many countries

Nepal Grave describe how many countries aQJ3P
The bar graph illustrate the donation of money in different age group by British people for the given period. The data can be calibratied in percentage. Overall, it can be seen that the highest- charity group age 36-51 in 1990 as well as age 51-65 in 2010. 18-25 ages groups lowest donation in given years. To begin with, In 1990 a dramatic increase was seen in given charity of 18-24 then 26-35, after 36-50. After then another two years group was decrease in this trend. 25-35 age group was 31% people donated money. However 42% people giving money to charity by 36-50 year old people that was the highest figure in 1992. The age range 51-65 and over 65 were similar to charity money near me third part of proposition. Although, just 5% people in 18-25 year people giving money to charity in 2010 26-35 year old age group donated money in the quarter. The 36-50 years and over 65 age range people given money to charity as same for 35% in 2010. In contrast, nearly 40% people donated cash in the age 51-65 year old people in 2010.
The bar graph illustrate the donation of
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money
in
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different
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age
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group
by British
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people
for the
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given
period. The data can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
calibratied
in percentage.

Overall
, it can be
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seen
that the highest-
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charity
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group
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age
36-51 in 1990
as well
as
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age
51-65 in 2010. 18-25
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ages
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groups
A determiner is probably missing here: "the lowest".
lowest
donation in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.

To
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begin
with, In 1990 a dramatic increase was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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charity
of 18-24 then 26-35, after 36-50.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
then another two years
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group
was decrease in this trend. 25-35
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age
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group
was 31%
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people
donated
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money
.
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However
42%
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people
giving
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money
to
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charity
by 36-50
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year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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people
that was the highest figure in 1992. The
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age
range 51-65 and over 65 were similar to
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charity
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money
near me third part of proposition.

“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
5%
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people
in 18-25
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year
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people
giving
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money
to
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charity
in 2010 26-35
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year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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age
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group
donated
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money
in the quarter. The 36-50 years and over 65
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age
range
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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money
to
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charity
as same for 35% in 2010.
In contrast
,
nearly
40%
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people
donated cash in the
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age
51-65
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year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2010.
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IELTS academic Nepal Grave describe how many countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
189 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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