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The line graph shows the urbanization rate in South Korea and Indonesia from 1965 to 2009

The line graph shows the urbanization rate in South Korea and Indonesia from 1965 to 2009 YRdP5
The given graph illustrates the growth of cities in South Korea and Indonesia from 1965 to 2009. Overall, the urbanization rate of two nations both increased. During this period, South Korea always had a higher proportion than its counterpart. In 1965, while the urban growth rate of Indonesia stood at under 20%, South Korea recorded approximately 10% higher. As can be seen, the figure for South Korea experienced a sharp rise by nearly 40% during 24-year period (from 30% in 1965 to more than 70% in 1989). Meanwhile, the process of city development of Indonesia was slower, rising gradually to under 30% in 1989. However, the opposite trend was true in the following years. In 1989, after undergoing a notable increase, the speed of urbanization of South Korea was slower in the next 10 years and followed by a period of stability until 2009. At the same period, Indonesia was urbanizing at a rapid speed and reached a peak at 50% in the last year.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph illustrates the growth of cities in South Korea and Indonesia from 1965 to 2009.

Overall
, the urbanization rate of two nations both increased. During this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, South Korea always had a higher proportion than its counterpart.

In 1965, while the urban growth rate of Indonesia stood at under 20%, South Korea recorded approximately 10% higher. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, the figure for South Korea experienced a sharp rise by
nearly
40% during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
24-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
(from 30% in 1965 to more than 70% in 1989). Meanwhile, the process of city development of Indonesia was slower, rising
gradually
to under 30% in 1989.

However
, the opposite trend was true in the following years. In 1989, after undergoing a notable increase, the speed of urbanization of South Korea was slower in the
next
10 years and followed by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of stability until 2009. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, Indonesia was urbanizing at a rapid speed and reached a peak at 50% in the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the urbanization rate in South Korea and Indonesia from 1965 to 2009

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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