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My task one essay this is line graph

My task one essay this is line graph BlKL6
The lines describe mass-media spectators during in 1992. Initially, 6 a. m television audience were not any. On the other hand, by 12 p. m the percentage of viewers was minority. Because the reason of this time is lunch time at 2 p. m television audiences grew by one in ten to a fifth between p. m 6 and p. m 10 many people are at home. They always watch TV for cultural recreation. Therefore, the highest figure was two fifths at this time. From p. m 12 to a. m 6. 00 there was a decreased in the number of small spectators of Television, as during this time many humans sleep and rest. At 6 a. m radio listeners accounted for a very small number. Between p. m 8 and p. m 10 the number of radio listeners increased by a quarter because the reason for this is that a lot of people are going to work. They listen to songs or news on the radio on buses and in private cars. From p. m 12 and a. m 6 the number of radio listeners reduced from one in ten to one in twenty. The demand for radio at this time was not high because too many people were at work or busy with their own affairs. Overall, whether humans watch TV or listen to the radio connected on their free time.
The lines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
mass-media spectators during in 1992.
Initially
, 6 a. m television audience were not any.
On the other hand
, by 12 p. m the percentage of viewers was minority.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the reason of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is lunch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at 2 p. m television audiences grew by one in ten to a fifth between p. m 6 and p. m 10
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are at home. They always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV for cultural recreation.
Therefore
, the highest figure was two fifths at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. From p. m 12 to a. m 6. 00 there was a decreased in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
spectators of Television, as during this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
humans sleep and rest. At 6 a. m
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
listeners accounted for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
. Between p. m 8 and p. m 10 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
listeners increased by a quarter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the reason for this is
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are going to work. They listen to songs or news on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
on buses and in private cars. From p. m 12 and a. m 6 the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
listeners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
from one in ten to one in twenty. The demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
was not high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were at work or busy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
affairs.
Overall
, whether humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV or listen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
connected on their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS academic My task one essay this is line graph

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
233 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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