Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

motivation of people who relocated to the capital city (describe a line graph)

motivation of people who relocated to the capital city (describe a line graph) BgYaV
This line graph sets out the results of an investigation about the motivation of people who relocated to the capital city in the years between 2000 and 2015. As shown in the picture, these motivations were divided into four categories: employment, study, family or friends and, adventure. The number of people who relocated in order to find a job had considerably risen to 85000 in 2005. It saw a gradual increase between 2005 and 2010 and touched 92000 approximately (the highest level in any year for any reason). After that, the opposite trend was started and the number dropped about 88000 joint-highest levels of study. Another category was the study. As illustrated, the Study had the most impact on immigration to the capital city, so that, about 68000 relocations were recorded due to it overall. Despite the study, the adventure had less effect on movement to capital. The adventure and the family/friends were other categories that had an equal effect on relocation at first. But the family/friends experienced more growth with pass the time rather than the adventure, however, there was a gradual increase trend after 2010. To sum up, in fact, the main reason for immigration to the capital city was employment. On the other hand, the adventure had less impact on relocation in this period. A noticeable point was that there was a surprising increase in the study trend.
This line graph sets out the results of an investigation about the motivation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who relocated to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
city in the years between 2000 and 2015. As shown in the picture, these motivations
were divided
into four categories: employment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, family or friends and, adventure.

The number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who relocated in order to find a job had
considerably
risen to 85000 in 2005. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a gradual increase between 2005 and 2010 and touched 92000 approximately (the highest level in any year for any reason). After that, the opposite trend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
and the number dropped about 88000 joint-highest levels of study.

Another category was the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. As illustrated, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Study
had the most impact on immigration to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, about 68000 relocations
were recorded
due to it
overall
. Despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
had less effect on movement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
and the family/friends were other categories that had an equal effect on relocation at
first
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the family/friends experienced more growth with pass the time
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
,
however
, there was a gradual increase trend after 2010.

To sum up, in fact, the main reason for immigration to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
capital
city was employment.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
had less impact on relocation in this period. A noticeable point was that there was a surprising increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
trend.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic motivation of people who relocated to the capital city (describe a line graph)

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    The diagram below demonstrate to the pacific ocean center have the numerous types island and volcanic rocks stages
    The diagram below demonstrate to the pacific ocean center have the numerous types island and volcanic rocks stages By overall, this process include the seven stage’s and the ocean own the old and new volcanic systems and how many stages face to the before realize the magma According to the data, huw...
  • 6.5band
    Export earnings from various categories from 2015 to 2016
    The bar chart illustrates the changes in the percentage of the country's export in 5 various categories between 2015 and 2016. Overall, we can see that from 2015 to 2016 revenue from exports has been increased marginally for all the categories with the exception of gems and jewelry which had a mino...
  • 6.5band
    the proportion of various types of energy production i
    The two pie charts provide the information about how the proportion of various types of energy production in France changed in the years 1995 and 2005. Overall, the trend is that the proportion of coal and gas of France in both years made up more than half of energy generation, while there was rela...
  • 6.5band
    Comparison pf energy production
    The two pie charts provide the information about how the proportion of various types of energy production in France changed in the years 1995 and 2005. Overall, the trend is that the proportion of coal and gas of France in both years made up more than half of energy generation, while there was rela...
  • 6.5band
    Proportion of GDP in the UK
    The bar graph indicates the proportion of the gross domestic product produced from the IT industry and Service sectors in the UK between 1992 and 2000, and it is measured in percentages. Overall, it is apparent to me that both industries increased though IT surpassed service industry and reached it...
  • 6band
    line graph gives the information about junkfood
    Overall, the pizza and hamburgers show the upward trend whereas, the fish and chips follows the downward trend. As it is presented in the line graph in 1975 almost 10 to 15 percent of pizza and hamburgers were eaten by youngsters per year in Australian. The use and intake of hamburgers increased dra...