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Money spent on books in four countries

Money spent on books in four countries pKyk3
The graph demonstrates books' expenditures in four different countries throughout a decade in US dollars. To begin, it is clear that the highest proportion of people who read was in Germany during the period, but experienced slight fluctuation in 2003 amounted to 75 millions, in contrast the lowest rate of book expenses was in Australia from 1995 to 2001, but the trend rose considerably in 2002 and a hefty 60 million dollars were spent on book by australian population. In terms of France, the book population climbed gradually from 65 millions to 75 millions, increased by mere 10 millions in 2001. More people in France prefer books than in Italy. When it come to Italian, the sharp decrease occured in 1997, where book industry lost humble 5 millions. Overall, the data indicates that Germany had the highest book expenses by 2003.
The graph demonstrates books' expenditures in four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries throughout a decade in US dollars. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the highest proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who read was in Germany during the period,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
experienced slight fluctuation in 2003 amounted to 75
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millions
,
in contrast
the lowest rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
expenses was in Australia from 1995 to 2001,
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but
the trend rose
considerably
in 2002 and a hefty 60
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million
dollars
were spent
on
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book
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
australian
population. In terms of France, the
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book
population climbed
gradually
from 65
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millions
to 75
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millions
, increased by mere 10
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millions
in 2001. More
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people
in France prefer
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books
than in Italy. When it
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come
to Italian, the sharp decrease
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
in 1997, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
industry lost humble 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
.
Overall
, the data indicates that Germany had the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
expenses by 2003.
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IELTS academic Money spent on books in four countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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