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men and women in futher education in britain in three periods

men and women in futher education in britain in three periods GMOBB
the graph above compares amount of male and female of United Kingdom in attending further education, both part time and full time, throughout 1970s until 1990s. in general, the dates shows quite significant rising in both side and in each period of time. it is also clear that majority of them prefered studying part-time than ful-ltime in that period. the chart of part-time men student had been a little bit fluctuatione if it is compared with full-time one which always shows stability and developed considerably. in 1990s, part-time men student were decreased about 100. 000 in number. although it is increased again in the period after, it is not as much as before as in 1970s. Uk's women had been much less than men in attending further education. nevertheless, their number growth gradually. both part-time and full-time women student were increased in 1970s. the amount of full-time women even more than the men ones in that time. in the next period, the number of part-time women student were rocketing. the full-time one also increased even though it is not as rapid as the part-time one.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
graph above compares amount of male and female
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the United Kingdom".
of United Kingdom
in attending
further
education, both part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, throughout 1970s until 1990s.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
general, the dates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
quite significant rising in both side and in each period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that majority of them
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "preferred", the past tense form of the verb 'prefer'?
prefered
studying
Use "(part-time)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
part-time
than
Possible spelling mistake found.
ful-ltime
in that period.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
chart of part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
had been a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
Possible spelling mistake found.
fluctuatione
if it
is compared
with full-time one which always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
stability and developed
considerably
.
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1990s".
in 1990s
, part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
were decreased
about 100. 000 in number.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
it
is increased
again in the period after, it is not as much as

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
as
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1970s".
in 1970s
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
had been much less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in attending
further
education.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nevertheless
, their number growth
gradually
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
both
part-time and full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
were increased
The article is probably missing here: "in the 1970s".
in 1970s
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
amount of full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
even more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
ones in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the
next
period, the number of part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
were rocketing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
full-time one
also
increased
even though
it is not as rapid as the part-time one.

IELTS academic men and women in futher education in britain in three periods

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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