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MANY STUDENTSFIND IT DIFFICULT TO PAY ATTENTION AT SCHOOLWHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THIS?WHAT COULD BE DONE TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?

MANY STUDENTSFIND IT DIFFICULT TO PAY ATTENTION AT SCHOOLWHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THIS? WHAT COULD BE DONE TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM? GMbNQ
Numerous pupils feel immense hard to concentrate on school. as hectic class schedule make them tired this reduces their ability to focus on lessons. this essay elucidates the varied causes for the difficulties and the remedies for solving this problem. Some child psychologist opines that the continuous classes reduce the student's capturing power and diminish the working of the brain to obtaining new knowledge. as a result the children felt sleepy and tired, loss their concentration in classes. meanwhile, the student to teacher ratio is high also inversely affect the performance of students in class. similarly in this contemporary epoch usage of electronic gadgets such as mobiles, computer, television can adversely affect school students. as the continuous use of these equipment stimulates addiction toward them for example watching cartoons, playing video games and online games increases their affinity toward them thereby declining focus on studies even if they are attending classes there are distracted by these thoughts. moreover spending more time in it affects their health and sleepy also cause a decline in attention on school. In addition skipping breakfast, also known as the brain's food, directly affect the pupil's knowledge absorbing power. according to recent research done on students about 88% of students who skip breakfast show a dwindling performance in class and studies. Furthermore, family problems affect children mind. The worries, stress as a product of personal problem adversely affects the teenagers thereby curtailing the concentration on studies. However, there are some remedies for these problems thereby increase the attention of students. The schools time tables should provide time for extracurricular activities such as sport, art etc. for making the pupil relieved from continuous classes. moreover reduce the teacher-student ratio, so that teachers can give more attention to each student and can clear their doubts thereby attracts the attention of pupils. likewise, the parents always ensure that their children have breakfast daily, early bedtime sleep and use of mobiles tv should be minimized or under the parent's control. According to recent research, about 90% of teenagers having 8-hour sleep are keen and highly absorbing, their class presence rises extensively. moreover, the family ought to provide stress-free childhood. Thus, to recapitulate, although there are numerous reasons that reduce the students attention at school, however, most of them can be resolved through these measures.
Numerous pupils feel immense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
hectic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
schedule
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them tired this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduces
their ability to focus on lessons.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay elucidates the varied causes for the difficulties and the remedies for solving this problem.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
child psychologist opines that the continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the student's capturing power and diminish the working of the brain to obtaining new knowledge.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
a result the children felt sleepy and tired, loss their concentration in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
meanwhile
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to teacher ratio is high
also
inversely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
similarly
in this contemporary epoch usage of electronic gadgets such as mobiles, computer, television can
adversely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
the continuous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Did you mean "this equipment" or "these equipments"?
these equipment
stimulates addiction toward them
for example
watching cartoons, playing video games and online games increases their affinity toward them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thereby
declining focus on studies even if they are attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
there
are distracted
by these thoughts.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
spending more time in it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
their health and sleepy
also
cause a decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
skipping breakfast,
also
known as the brain's food,
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the pupil's knowledge absorbing power.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
according
to recent research done on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about 88% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who skip breakfast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a dwindling performance in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and studies.
Furthermore
, family problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
children mind. The worries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
as a product of personal problem
adversely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thereby
curtailing the concentration on studies.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
remedies for these problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thereby
increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
time tables should provide time for extracurricular activities such as sport, art etc. for making the pupil relieved from continuous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the teacher-student ratio,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that teachers can give more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
their doubts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thereby
attracts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
of pupils.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
likewise
, the parents always ensure that their children have breakfast daily, early bedtime sleep and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobiles
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
should
be minimized
or under the parent's control. According to recent research, about 90% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
having 8-hour sleep are keen and
highly
absorbing, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
presence rises
extensively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, the family ought to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free childhood.

Thus
, to recapitulate, although there are numerous reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "students'" or "student's"?
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attention
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
however
, most of them can
be resolved
through these measures.
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IELTS academic MANY STUDENTSFIND IT DIFFICULT TO PAY ATTENTION AT SCHOOLWHAT ARE THE REASONS FOR THIS? WHAT COULD BE DONE TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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