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The index illustrates the count of tourists to the Ashdown Museum.

The index illustrates the count of tourists to the Ashdown Museum. Ajqwl
The index illustrates the count of tourists to the Ashdown Museum. Particularly, the year before and the year after it was reworked. In addition, the Pie graph demonstrates the survey of visitors regarding convenience. Overall, the plethora of people who visited the museum after redevelopment faces a huge increment. Moreover, the likeness proportion towards the reconstructed museum also attains the upward trend. To begin with, the group of people who gives their opinion as much satisfied increased from 15% to 35%. Similarly. satisfied people count exaggerated from 30% to 40% respectively. However, the dissatisfied count experiences a low ratio between the two time periods. The further analysis states the number of huge dissatisfied people percentage got lower from 10% to 5%. Yet, the people who don’t have time to respond for a survey still have an equivalent ratio of 5%. In general, the Museum attracts a higher amount of 92000 people after the refurbishment work.
The index illustrates the count of tourists to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ashdown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
.
Particularly
, the year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and the year after it
was reworked
.
In addition
, the Pie graph demonstrates the survey of visitors regarding convenience.

Overall
, the plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who visited the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
after redevelopment faces a huge increment.
Moreover
, the likeness proportion towards the reconstructed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
also
attains the upward trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who gives their opinion as much satisfied increased from 15% to 35%.
Similarly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
satisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
count exaggerated from 30% to 40%
respectively
.
However
, the dissatisfied count experiences a low ratio between the two time periods.

The
further
analysis states the number of huge dissatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
lower from 10% to 5%.
Yet
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don’t have time to respond for a survey
still
have an equivalent ratio of 5%.
In general
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museum
attracts a higher amount of 92000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
after the refurbishment work.
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IELTS academic The index illustrates the count of tourists to the Ashdown Museum.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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