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Making smoking illegal is the best way to protect people from the harmful effects of tobacco. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

Making smoking illegal is the best way to protect people from the harmful effects of tobacco. What other measures do you think might be effective? QwL1K
Illegalization of smoking is the effective way for saving people's lives from bad impacts of using tobacco. As far as I'm concerned, anti-smoking legislation have more advantages than make them free to use. Decreasing of criminal rates besides that lower knowing possibilities will be discussed in this essay in favour of make them illegal. Using smoking substances might be affect consumers and because of that misbehavior can cause criminal acts. First, it is accepted that changing normal behaviors even after using of these chemical substances is one of the common causes of violence. To prove that there are some drugs which directly destroy main brain neurons and could be force smokers to make unreal and extremely dangerous decisions. Marijuana is sorted in this group, for instance. If governments legalize the trading of these tobaccos, it will be introduced to the maximum number of people in all age groups. Imagine, sellers can advertise in considerably huge billboards in high congested road and it might be watched by plenty of people. Moreover, they will indicate it absolutely useful by advertising techniques, while they are not covered all facts about the risk of using them. For instance, in Canada ads were attracted children, so the number of under-aged smokers increased considerably over past years.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Illegalization
of smoking is the effective way for saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts of using tobacco.

As far as I'm concerned, anti-smoking legislation have more advantages than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Decreasing of criminal rates
besides
that lower knowing possibilities will
be discussed
in this essay in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them illegal.

Using smoking substances might be affect consumers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that misbehavior can cause criminal acts.
First
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that changing normal behaviors even after using of these chemical substances is one of the common causes of violence. To prove that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drugs which
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
main brain neurons and could be force smokers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
unreal and
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
decisions. Marijuana
is sorted
in this group,
for instance
.

If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
legalize the trading of these tobaccos, it will
be introduced
to the maximum number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in all age groups. Imagine, sellers can advertise in
considerably
huge billboards in high congested road and it might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Moreover
, they will indicate it
absolutely
useful by advertising techniques, while they are not covered all facts about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of using them.
For instance
, in Canada ads
were attracted
children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the number of under-aged smokers increased
considerably
over past years.
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IELTS academic Making smoking illegal is the best way to protect people from the harmful effects of tobacco. What other measures do you think might be effective?

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
211 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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