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major changes of a small town

major changes of a small town Wg69D
The maps illustrate the major changes of a small town near Melbourne between 1900 and 1950. It is clear from the given pictures that Tarnagul and its area has have undergone a lot of changes. Just Only the old road, the northern orange field and the river didn’t changed during this over the next 50 years. First of all, a railroad was built at the eastern side of the town. and A railway station was constructed as well, on the southern side of the road. On the northern side 1-1 packing sheds were created on both sides of the railroad. The extent territory of the settlement grew by almost 50%. The river didn’t change at all, just like the old road. In addition, the southern mandarin fields were replaced by oranges but the area of this field had experienced a slight increase. On the other side of the river the dairy was destroyed, and on its territory were it was replaced by a lemon and grapefruit grown field. This field This area extended by more than one-third.
The maps illustrate the major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of a
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small
town near Melbourne between 1900 and 1950. It is
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clear
from the
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given
pictures that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tarnagul
and its area has have undergone
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a lot of
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changes
.
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Just
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Only
the
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old
road, the northern orange
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field
and the river didn’t
The verb 'didn't' requires base form of this verb: "change"
changed
during this over the
next
50 years.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a railroad
was built
at the eastern side of the town.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
A railway station
was constructed
as well
, on the southern side of the road. On the northern side 1-1 packing sheds
were created
on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sides
of the railroad.

The extent territory of the settlement grew by almost 50%. The river didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
at all,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
road.

In addition
, the southern mandarin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
were replaced
by oranges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the area of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
had experienced a slight increase. On the other side of the river the dairy was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
, and on its territory
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
it
was replaced
by a lemon and grapefruit grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
This area extended by more than one-third.
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IELTS academic major changes of a small town

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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