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line graphs illustrate the number of students coming from within and outside Australia enrolled in the last ten years from 2001 to 2010 on the level of commencing and total.

line graphs illustrate the number of students coming from within and outside Australia enrolled in the last ten years from 2001 to 2010 on the level of commencing and total. Wq1E5
The line graphs illustrate the number of students coming from within and outside Australia enrolled in the last ten years from 2001 to 2010 on the level of commencing and total. Overall, the number of local students enrolling was much higher than overseas students. In addition, the commencing rates for both kinds of students were less than the enrollment’s total number. The first graph demonstrates the dramatic increase in the number of enrollment from overseas students in Australian universities. The rate of increase in the number of international students has been dramatic, doubling every two years, starting with 20000 students and ending with over 80000 students in 2010. On the other hand, local students' numbers experience a considerable rise in the first 7 years, but show no change in the last four years and maintain the number of 600000 students. Regarding the commencing numbers, new students occupied nearly 50% of the international one in total during the whole period. Meanwhile, the commencing numbers of students account for 33% of the total from the beginning and only 20% in 2010 even though the total number increased.
The line graphs illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
coming from within and outside Australia enrolled in the last ten years from 2001 to 2010 on the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
and total.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolling was much higher than overseas
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students
.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
rates for both kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were less than the enrollment’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
number.

The
first
graph demonstrates the dramatic increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of enrollment from overseas
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students
in Australian universities. The rate of increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has been dramatic, doubling every two years, starting with 20000
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students
and ending with over 80000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2010.
On the other hand
, local students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
experience a considerable rise in the
first
7 years,
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but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the last four years and maintain the
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number
of 600000 students.

Regarding the
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commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
, new
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students
occupied
nearly
50% of the international one in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
during the whole period. Meanwhile, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commencing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
account for 33% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
from the beginning and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20% in 2010
even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
increased.
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IELTS academic line graphs illustrate the number of students coming from within and outside Australia enrolled in the last ten years from 2001 to 2010 on the level of commencing and total.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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