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The picture describes the change of a school

The picture describes the change of a school 96AYW
The maps demonstrate how the layout of a school has changed over 35 years period from 1985 to now. Overall, the campus was designed to diversify functions to provide more and more facilities for teachers and students. During the given period, the number of students has increased significantly from 1500 to 2300. In term of the teaching building area, the old two storey teaching building has been knocked down and replaced by a new classroom block with three storey. Moreover, some classroom located nearby were constructed to response to the growing student scale. The library has redesigned into a resource center equipped with computers. In the south of the campus, the original empty space has been cut down to make room for a new fitness center and a swimming pool. Meanwhile, car park has been remained in the north of the campus for 35 years.
The maps demonstrate how the layout of a school has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over 35 years period from 1985 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Overall
, the campus
was designed
to diversify functions to provide more and more facilities for teachers and students.

During the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period, the number of students has increased
significantly
from 1500 to 2300.

In term of the teaching building area, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "two-storey"
two storey
teaching building has
been knocked
down and replaced by a new classroom block with three
Possible agreement error. The noun 'storey' seems to be countable, so consider using: "storeys".
storey
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
classroom located nearby
were constructed
to response to the growing student scale. The library has redesigned into a resource center equipped with computers.

In the south of the campus, the original empty space has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
room for a new fitness center and a swimming pool. Meanwhile, car park has
been remained
in the north of the campus for 35 years.
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IELTS academic The picture describes the change of a school

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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