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line graph about World oil production

line graph about World oil production gWjxl
The given line graph illustrates production of oil in four major areas in the world over a period 40 years from 1960 to 2000 and they produce oil in million barrels per day in a particular year. Overall, the Middle East has highest rate of generating oil because the graph was increased gradually from initially year to final year (1960 to 2000) as mentioned. Moreover, Asia has least among them. Firstly, Africa’s oil production graph was significantly fluctuating besides in year of 1960 to 1970 the graph extended up to 30 million barrels per day. In 1970 to 1980 the production of crude oil decreases up to 8 million barrels per day. From 1990 to 2000 manufacturing of oil rises eventually. North America’s production of fossil fuel unsteady from 1960 to 2000. In conclusion, Asia and North America was noticed more in according to given data. Asia has production about 20 million barrels per day in four decade period. Although, Middle East has approximately 55 million barrels per day over 1960-2000.
The
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given
line
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graph
illustrates
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production
of
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oil
in four major areas in the world over a period 40 years from 1960 to
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2000 and
they produce
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oil
in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
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barrels
per day in a particular year.

Overall
, the Middle East has
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
rate of generating
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oil
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because
the
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graph
was increased
gradually
from
initially
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year
to final
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year
(1960 to 2000) as mentioned.
Moreover
, Asia has least among them.

Firstly
, Africa’s
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oil
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production
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graph
was
significantly
fluctuating
besides
in
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year
of 1960 to 1970 the
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graph
extended up to 30
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million
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barrels
per day. In 1970 to 1980 the
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production
of crude
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oil
decreases up to 8
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million
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barrels
per day. From 1990 to 2000 manufacturing of
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oil
rises
eventually
. North America’s
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production
of fossil fuel unsteady from 1960 to 2000.

In conclusion
, Asia and North America
was noticed
more in according to
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given
data. Asia has
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production
about 20
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
per day in four decade period.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, Middle East has approximately 55
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
barrels
per day over 1960-2000.
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IELTS academic line graph about World oil production

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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