Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The given diagrams illustrate the transformation of the west park secondary school during a period of 60 years starting from 1950.

The given diagrams illustrate the transformation of the west park secondary school during a period of 60 years starting from 1950. yRJlD
The given diagrams illustrate the transformation of the west park secondary school during a period of 60 years starting from 1950. Looking at the pictures, it is clear that the most striking change was the construction of a car park. Additionally, farmland and houses had completely disappeared over the research period. In 1950, there were many residential houses situated in the northwest corner, while a small school was located to the east of the housing area. In 1980, the houses were demolished to make way for a car park and a science block belonging to the main building of the school. In addition, a new sports field was erected on the original site of the farmland, whereas the playground in the southeast corner still remained. From 1980 to 2010, the main building of the school as well as the science block still existed. Meanwhlie, the car park was significantly extended, leading to a decline in the sizes of the sports field and the playground.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagrams illustrate the transformation of the west
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
during a period of 60 years starting from 1950.

Looking at the pictures, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the most striking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was the construction of a car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
.
Additionally
, farmland and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
had completely disappeared over the research period.

In 1950, there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
residential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
situated in the northwest corner, while a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
was located
to the east of the housing area. In 1980, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
were demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for a car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and a science block belonging to the main building of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, a new sports field
was erected
on the original site of the farmland, whereas the playground in the southeast corner
still
remained.

From 1980 to 2010, the main building of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as well
as the science block
still
existed.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Meanwhlie
, the car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
was
significantly
extended, leading to a decline in the sizes of the sports field and the playground.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The given diagrams illustrate the transformation of the west park secondary school during a period of 60 years starting from 1950.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    show road access to city hospital
    Two maps above illustrate the changes of the way to go to the City Hospital in the year of 2007 and 2010. Over the 3 years, the area has witnessed big changes. As we can see, there are two new roundabouts in front of the city hospital and beside the city road. In 2007, there were many bus stops aro...
  • 6band
    The bar chart shows the different types of telephone calls between 1995 and 2000.
    The provided bar chart illustrates the information about different types of telephone calls in the uk in terms of a total number of minutes by category from 1995 to 2000. The data has been measured in millions. Overall, it is apparent that the figure for all three category followed an increasing tre...
  • 5.5band
    This table shows the number of cars per 1, 000 inhabitants in five European countries, in 1990 and 2009.
    The provided table gives information about the number of cars per 1000 inhabitants in european regions during 1990 and 2009. Overall we can see that all five countries experienced a relevant growth in the number of cars however the variation resulted more or less marked depending on the area itself...
  • 6band
    the process of producing cement and how to use concrete for building.
    The diagrams give information about the process of producing cement and how to use concrete for building. Overall, a closer look at the processes highlights the fact that there are five stages in the process of making cement. However, the process of making concrete production only two steps. Looki...
  • 6.5band
    the process of producing ceramic pots.
    The diagram gives information about the process of producing ceramic pots. Overall, a closer look at the process highlights the fact that there are thirteen main stages in this process, beginning with ingredients taken by a machine and ending with bottles and jars. Looking at the process in more d...
  • 5.5band
    the shown figure reveals information about place of residence for students over five decades.
    the shown figure reveals information about place of residence for students over five decades. In 1998s student equally enjoyed by taking room in a shared house or flat with other students, student hall of residence and paying guest with a host family with amount of 35 percent and 15 percent of stude...





Get more results for topic:
  • The given diagrams illustrate the transformation of the west park secondary school during a period of 60 years starting from 1950.