Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Japan's population by age groups

The line graph illustrates data regarding Japan's populace by lifetime groups over a 80-year period from 1960 with prediction to 2040. Overall, what stands out from the graph is that, elderly population will dramatically increase over the period given, while the number of middle-aged and young people shall see declines. When it comes to the number of population aged 0-14, it began with 30% of population in 1960, after that fluctuated until 1990 than fell dramatically to 20% in 2000 and will significantly decrease to 10% in 2040. Likewise 25-64 aged people consisted approximately 65% of populace in the first year, than fluctuated between 1970 and 1990 and will slightly decrease nearly to 56% in the last year. On the other hand, people over 65 composed approximately 9% of population in 1960. After 20 years, in 1980 elderly population combained to 12% than still stable in 10 years, to 1990 and will increase dramatically about 23% and combain nearly 35% of population in 2040.
The line graph illustrates data regarding Japan's populace by lifetime groups over
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
80-year
period from 1960 with prediction to 2040.

Overall
, what stands out from the graph is that, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will
dramatically
increase over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, while the number of middle-aged and young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
declines.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
aged 0-14, it began with 30% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 1960, after that fluctuated until 1990 than fell
dramatically
to 20% in 2000 and will
significantly
decrease to 10% in 2040.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
25-64 aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consisted approximately 65% of populace in the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
Did you mean “then”?
than
fluctuated between 1970 and 1990 and will
slightly
decrease
nearly
to 56% in the last year.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 65 composed approximately 9% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 1960. After 20 years, in 1980 elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
Possible spelling mistake found.
combained
to 12% than
still
stable in 10 years, to 1990 and will increase
dramatically
about 23% and
Possible spelling mistake found.
combain
nearly
35% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in 2040.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic Japan's population by age groups

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Japan's population by age groups