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This chart below shows the result of survey about peoples coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian countries

this bar chart demonstrates The proportion of individuals spending their money for coffee and tea in Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, and Hobart. it is intelligible from the graph that an extremely large majority from Melbourne bought fresh coffee with 63% in the past four weeks. while near to the half bought instant coffee last month, however, the individuals from Adelaide bought fresh coffee with the same rate. Besides, a minority of individuals in all four cities went to the coffee shop for tea or coffee in the last four weeks, whereas Sydney has almost an equal proportion for the individuals who bought a fresh coffee and who went to the coffee shops nearly by 45% followed by Melbourne by 43%. to sum up we could say that Melbourne and Hobart have the highest rate in the graph by 63% in the fresh coffee who bought by them in the last month, and the lowest proportion in the bar chart was in Brisbane and Adelaide by 36% for the same point.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
this
bar chart demonstrates The proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
spending their money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and tea in Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, and Hobart.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
it
is intelligible from the graph that an
extremely
large majority from Melbourne
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
with 63% in the past four weeks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
while
near to the half
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
last month,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
from Adelaide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
with the same rate.
Besides
, a minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in all four cities went to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
shop for tea or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
in the last four weeks, whereas Sydney has almost an equal proportion for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
and who went to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
shops
nearly
by 45% followed by Melbourne by 43%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
sum up we could say that Melbourne and Hobart have the highest rate in the graph by 63% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
coffee
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
by them in the last month, and the lowest proportion in the bar chart was in Brisbane and Adelaide by 36% for the same point.

IELTS academic This chart below shows the result of survey about peoples coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
169 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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