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It is becoming a trend that tourists tend to organise tours to remote community and different nations in recent years. Although it brings a plenty of benefits to local people who live in remote area, it still has some negative consequences.

It is becoming a trend that tourists tend to organise tours to remote community and different nations in recent years. Although it brings a plenty of benefits to local people who live in remote area, it still has some negative consequences. 0EYQ1
It is becoming a trend that tourists tend to organise tours to remote community and different nations in recent years. Although it brings a plenty of benefits to local people who live in remote area, it still has some negative consequences. The developing of travelling to remote areas provides advantages to ethnic people. First of all, it helps people to connect together. Some tourists who came from urban areas can learn new cultures that they have never seen in big cities. They can understand about living style of the local people aren't as bustling as the city dwellers. These things will bring them closer together and that will lead to tourists tend to support local people. They organise the charity to support the people's lives here. Moreover, job oppotunities are also more increasing than in the past. The more increasing the tourists are, the better job oppotunities they will have. The homestays and hotels are built to service accommodation for tourists as well as local people can earn income from rents. Besides, they sell souvenirs for visitors to get more income. Finally, if these tourist destinations are developing, it will attract investment from the government. Goverment will invest in facilities such as electricity and health issues to make these areas more growing. However, the growing of visitors to remote community still leave some impacts on the environment in these areas. The natural resources have to be sacrificed. For instance, they destroyed the environment by cutting trees of forests to accommodate tourists's demand. That will ruin natural beauty and landscape. In places with cold climate, such as Sa Pa, will warm the climate. On the other hands, it have serve impacts on education as well. It is widely known that ethnic children don't receive good education. Due to increasing visitors, children have to help their families by working to earn money instead of learning. As a result, ethnic children don't have good far future compared to those who live in urban areas. In conclusion, though the growth of tourism to remote areas and different nations have some benefits on societies, it has harmful impacts on local people and the environment.
It is becoming a trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
tend to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
tours to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
community and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations in recent years. Although it brings a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, it
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. The developing of travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
provides advantages to ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect together.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
who came from urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can learn new cultures that they have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities. They can understand about living style of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aren't as bustling as the city dwellers. These things will bring them closer together and that will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
tend to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
the charity to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
here.
Moreover
, job
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppotunities
are
also
more increasing than in the past. The more increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are, the better job
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppotunities
they will have. The homestays and hotels
are built
to service accommodation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn income from rents.
Besides
, they sell souvenirs for visitors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more income.
Finally
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destinations are developing, it will attract investment from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goverment
will invest in facilities such as electricity and health issues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
more growing.
However
, the growing of visitors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
community
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
impacts on the environment in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The natural resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be sacrificed
.
For instance
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the environment by cutting trees of forests to accommodate
Did you mean "tourist's" or "tourists'"?
tourists's
demand. That will ruin natural beauty and landscape. In places with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
climate, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sa
Pa, will warm the climate. On the other hands, it
Did you mean "has"?
have
serve impacts on education
as well
. It is
widely
known that ethnic children don't receive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education. Due to increasing visitors, children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their families by working to earn money
instead
of learning.
As a result
, ethnic children don't have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
far future compared to those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
In conclusion
, though the growth of tourism to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits on societies, it has harmful impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the environment.
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IELTS academic It is becoming a trend that tourists tend to organise tours to remote community and different nations in recent years. Although it brings a plenty of benefits to local people who live in remote area, it still has some negative consequences.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
359 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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