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Driving test in Asian country why is too short normal size

Driving test in Asian country why is too short normal size kWK9e
The chart presents us information about how women and men from one Asian country passed their driving test between 1980 and 2010. It show us percentage how much representatives from each sex did that. It is visible that in general women get success more often than men. Also we see that over this 30 years the proportion of passed exams was slightly growing, except the interval between 2000 and 2010 for women. Graph started from 1980. We see that almost a half of women passed their driving test. Interesting that men get lower success in general: rate of passes a little bit lower than 30 percents. This tendency save for all 30 years of measurement. In 1990 women passed their tests 15% more than men, in 2000 the difference between women and men grown by almost 5%. In 2010 men passed tests 15% less again. As I said, the tendency for both sexes that they pass tests better every 10 years. The exception for women in 2010, when their percentage of passed tests declined by 5% after the last measurement.
The chart presents us information about how
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women
and
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men
from one Asian country
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passed
their driving
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test
between 1980 and 2010. It
Did you mean "shows"?
show
us percentage how
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
representatives from each sex did that. It is visible that
in general
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women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than
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men
.
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Also
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that over this 30 years the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
exams was
slightly
growing, except the interval between 2000 and 2010 for women.

Graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 1980. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that almost a half of
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women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
their driving
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test
. Interesting that
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men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lower success
in general
: rate of passes a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
lower than 30 percents. This tendency save for all 30 years of measurement. In 1990
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
their
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tests
15% more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, in 2000 the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
grown by almost 5%. In 2010
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tests
15% less again. As I said, the tendency for both sexes that they pass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tests
better every 10 years. The exception for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in 2010, when their percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tests
declined by 5% after the last measurement.
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IELTS academic Driving test in Asian country why is too short normal size

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
180 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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