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Iranian and Turkish students enrollment

Iranian and Turkish students enrollment p558y
The line graph shows the number of students from Iran, Greece and Turkey who registered at Sheffield University from 2005 to 2009. Overall, Iranian and Turkish students enrollment was increased sharply during the period from 2005 to 2009, while the enrollment of Greek students dropped. In 2005, 20 students enrolled at Sheffield University from Turkey and enrollments from Turkey showed a significant rise over the period between 2005 and 2009. It reached a peak at just over 120 students in 2009. Iranian students enrollment experienced an upward trend as Turkish as well. In 2005, their number of enrollment began with 40 students. End of the period it reached at 160 students. On the other hand, registration from Greece experienced a decrease by contrast with Turkey and Iran. Number of Greek students who enrolled are 180 in 2005. This amount remained stable with 60 students in 2007 and 2008. It reached at over 40 students in 2009 that it was the lowest point for Greek students.
The line graph
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shows
the number of
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students
from Iran, Greece and Turkey who registered at Sheffield University from 2005 to 2009.

Overall
, Iranian and Turkish
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students
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enrollment
was increased
sharply
during the period from 2005 to 2009, while the
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enrollment
of Greek
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students
dropped.

In 2005, 20
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students
enrolled at Sheffield University from Turkey and
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enrollments
from Turkey
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showed
a significant rise over the period between 2005 and 2009. It reached a peak at
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just
over 120
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students
in 2009. Iranian
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students
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enrollment
experienced an upward trend as Turkish
as well
. In 2005, their number of
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enrollment
began with 40
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students
.
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End
of the period it reached at 160 students.

On the other hand
, registration from Greece experienced a decrease by contrast with Turkey and Iran. Number of Greek
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students
who enrolled are 180 in 2005. This amount remained stable with 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in 2007 and 2008. It reached at over 40
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students
in 2009 that it was the lowest point for Greek
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students
.
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IELTS academic Iranian and Turkish students enrollment

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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