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Internet Users Graph in UK from 2003 to 2006

Internet Users Graph in UK from 2003 to 2006 1AmRM
The given graph describes the percentage of adults of different age groups using the internet from 2003 to 2006 in Great Britain. The age groups considered are from 16 - 24, 25 - 44, 45 - 54, 55 - 64, and adults above the age of 65. For the age group 16 - 24, the usage of internet has been consistently growing. The number of internet users from the first group in 2003 were 80, which grew to 100 in the year 2005 and was between 80 and 100 in the year 2006. It can be seen from the given chart that for every age group there has been an increasing trend in the percentage of internet users. For the year 2006, the percentage of internet consumers from the age group 45 - 54 and 25 - 44 are the same. There are minor fluctuations in other groups, but the overall trend is upwards. Overall, the adults aged between 16 to 44 showed the greatest usage of internet and the users grew with time regardless of their age.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the percentage of adults of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
using the internet from 2003 to 2006 in Great Britain.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
considered are
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 16 to 24"?
from 16 - 24
,
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25 - 44
,
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45 - 54
,
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
55 - 64
, and adults above the
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age
of 65. For the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
16 - 24
, the usage of internet has been
consistently
growing. The number of internet users from the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
in 2003 were 80, which grew to 100 in the year 2005 and was between 80 and 100 in the year 2006.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart that for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
there has been an increasing trend in the percentage of internet users. For the year 2006, the percentage of internet consumers from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
45 - 54
and
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
25 - 44
are the same. There are minor fluctuations in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
overall
trend is upwards.

Overall
, the adults aged
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 16 and 44".
between 16 to 44
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the greatest usage of internet and the users grew with time regardless of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.

IELTS academic Internet Users Graph in UK from 2003 to 2006

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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