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International University Graduates

International University Graduates nEn1e
In this graph we will see how the percentage of international students change graduating from universities in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. . In the graph we can see the university that has the most international graduates is New Brunswick with 7% in 2001 and 12% in 2006 which can show us that the amount of students that graduate keeps rising through the years. After New Brunswick we can see that British Columbia is in second place with 11% graduates in 2006. The universities that have the least international graduates are Ontario with the 3% in 2001 and the 6% in 2002, and both Newfoundland and Manitoba had 3. 5% in 2001 and 7% in 2006. The only university that had a withdrawal in the amount of graduated is Alberta Collge that had a reduction of the 1. 5%.
In this graph we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how the percentage of international students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
graduating from
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universities
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
In the graph we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that has the most international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
is New Brunswick with 7% in 2001 and 12% in 2006 which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us that the amount of students that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
rising through the years.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
New Brunswick we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that British Columbia is in second place with 11%
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graduates
in 2006. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
that have the least international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are Ontario with the 3% in 2001 and the 6% in 2002, and both Newfoundland and Manitoba had 3. 5% in 2001 and 7% in 2006. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
that had a withdrawal in the amount of graduated is Alberta
Possible spelling mistake found.
Collge
that had a reduction of the 1. 5%.

IELTS academic International University Graduates

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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