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information about student applications at three US universities

information about student applications at three US universities 3WVDN
The given bar chart represents the number of applications at three US universities in various faculty areas from 1990 to 2010. Overall, it can be seen that the number of students who apply in biology and engineering have a decreasing trend, while it is contrary to ones applying in business and social work. The number of applications in Biology was reduced by half from 3000 in 1990 to 1500 in 2000, and then went off slightly to less than 1000 in 2010. Similarly, there was an extreme decline from 4000 to just over 500 applications in 2010. In contrast, there was an equivalent jump by 1000 from 2000 to 4000 applications through each consecutive 10 years from 1990 to 2010. A likely trend happened to the student applying in social work. In Particular, the number of applications increased by approximately 1000 to just under 2000 in 2010. In conclusion, recent students prefer to apply in social fields to science ones.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart represents the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
at three US universities in various faculty areas from 1990 to 2010.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of students who apply in biology and engineering have a decreasing trend, while it is contrary to ones applying in business and social work.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
in Biology was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by half from 3000 in 1990 to 1500 in 2000, and then went off
slightly
to less than 1000 in 2010.
Similarly
, there was an extreme decline from 4000 to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 500
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
in 2010.

In contrast
, there was an equivalent jump by 1000 from 2000 to 4000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
through each consecutive 10 years from 1990 to 2010. A likely trend happened to the student applying in social work.
In Particular
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
applications
increased by approximately 1000 to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 2000 in 2010.

In conclusion
, recent students prefer to apply in social fields to science ones.
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IELTS academic information about student applications at three US universities

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
160 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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