Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart gives information about the proportion of obesity in men and women in Australia between 1980 and 2018.

The chart gives information about the proportion of obesity in men and women in Australia between 1980 and 2018. 9BKRn
It can be seen that during the three decades, the percentage of obese men was always higher and increased, however, it had a slight decrease in the years of 2018. In 1980, the percentage of male overweight accounted for 40%, while obese women were at just over 30%. After a decade, in 1990, the percentage of women and men who were overweight were increased. The proportion in both genders in 1990 had just three per cent difference, it was 45% in men and 42% in women. The proportion of the Australian male in obesity peaked at 65% in 2000, while it slightly decreased to 60% in 2018. In the years of 2000 and 2018, the figures for the overweight female was steady and accounted for 53%.
It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that during the three decades, the percentage of obese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
was

always higher and increased,
however
, it had a slight decrease in the years of

2018.

In 1980, the percentage of male overweight accounted for 40%, while obese

women were at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 30%. After a decade, in 1990, the percentage of

women and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
who were overweight
were increased
. The proportion in both

genders in 1990 had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
three per cent difference, it was 45% in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and 42%

in women.

The proportion of the Australian male in obesity peaked at 65% in 2000, while

it
slightly
decreased to 60% in 2018. In the years of 2000 and 2018, the figures

for the overweight female was steady and accounted for 53%.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The chart gives information about the proportion of obesity in men and women in Australia between 1980 and 2018.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The chart gives information about the proportion of obesity in men and women in Australia between 1980 and 2018.