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information about how people aged 25-34 are housed in UK

information about how people aged 25-34 are housed in UK qkO2d
The graph represents how persons aged 25 to 34 are housed in United Kingdom It is evident that the percentage of people who own a home has dropped substantially. In contrast, the number of renters has increased significantly in recent years. In 2004, the number of people who rented their homes was little over 20%, and it has been steadily increasing until 2014, with just a minor decrease in 2006 and 2012. We can observe that there is a peak bar in 2014, indicating that the number of renters has risen to over 50%. In 2004, the number of homeowners was just under 60%; however, it steadily decreased from 2004 to 2006, rose very slightly in 2007, and stayed constant from 2011 to 2012. In 2014, around 35% of the population was considered to be homeowners. Overall, the bar chart shows that the number of people aged 25-34 who bought a home has decreased, while the number of people aged 25-34 who rented a home has increased throughout the years.
The graph represents how persons aged 25 to 34
are housed
in United Kingdom

It is evident that the percentage of
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people
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home has dropped
substantially
.
In contrast
, the
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number
of renters has increased
significantly
in recent years.

In 2004, the
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number
of
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people
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who
rented their
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homes
was
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little
over 20%, and it has been
steadily
increasing until 2014, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a minor decrease in 2006 and 2012. We can observe that there is a peak bar in 2014, indicating that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of renters has risen to over 50%.

In 2004, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of homeowners was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 60%;
however
, it
steadily
decreased from 2004 to 2006, rose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
slightly
in 2007, and stayed constant from 2011 to 2012. In 2014, around 35% of the population
was considered
to be homeowners.

Overall
, the bar chart
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shows
that the
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 25-34
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a home has decreased, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 25-34
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
rented a home has increased throughout the years.
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IELTS academic information about how people aged 25-34 are housed in UK

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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