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infomation about the amount of people from England participating in charities

The bar chart gives us infomation about the amount of people from England participating in charities in 1990 and 2010. Overall it is immidiately apparent that british people aged between 36-50 spent the highest ămaunt of money from their earning on charites in 199o. Moreover the biggest percontage in 1990 was shown by people between 51-65. To beain with, more than 40 % of British people aged 36-50 spent money on charities, whereas British's between 18-25 spent a bit more than 15% in the 1960. Moreover this age category was tne lowest compared with others. On the other hand, in 2010 almost 40 % of people from England between 61-65 has spent on charities. At the first glance we can see that it is less than people's donations in 1990. Only more than 5% of Britishes aded 18-25 have spent theirr money to help others. Moreover, it is the lowes indicator of donations compared with the rest.
The bar chart gives us
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infomation
about the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from England participating in charities in 1990 and 2010.
Overall
it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
immidiately
apparent that
Possible spelling mistake found.
british
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged between 36-50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
the highest
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ămaunt
of money from their earning on
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charites
in 199o.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the biggest
Possible spelling mistake found.
percontage
in 1990
was shown
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
between 51-65. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
beain
with, more than 40 % of British
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 36-50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
money on charities, whereas British's between 18-25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
a bit more than 15% in the 1960.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
this age category was
Possible spelling mistake found.
tne
lowest compared with others.
On the other hand
, in 2010 almost 40 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from England between 61-65 has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on charities. At the
first
glance we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that it is less than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's donations in 1990.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
more than 5% of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Britishes
Possible spelling mistake found.
aded
18-25 have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
Possible spelling mistake found.
theirr
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others.
Moreover
, it is the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lows", the plural form of the noun 'low'?
lowes
indicator of donations compared with the rest.
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IELTS academic infomation about the amount of people from England participating in charities

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
157 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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