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Increasing cases throughout the year .

Increasing cases throughout the year. aV5w9
The line graph illustrates about the three different areas of crime that taken place in the city Panama from 2010 to 2019 respectively. Overall, Burglary was the first most crime recorded with highest number of incidents. Second crime was the cartheft. The least amount of crime incidents were reported in robbery. Firsty, In the year 2010 burglary incidents were in an amount of 3500. while, cases were dramatically declined by the year 2019 recorded around 1450. Burglary followed by the car theft, started with 2700 cases. But fallen down to 2000 cases by the end of year 2014. In contrast, cases reported in cartheft was rosen and recorded with same number of incidents happed ned in the begining of 2010. Morevorer, Robbery incidents were relatively low when compared to other crimes. At the begining cases were about 550 and there are up and downs in the whole period. . Whereas, minimun number of incidents were about 500 throughout the years.
The line graph illustrates about the three
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different
areas of

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crime
that taken place in the city Panama from 2010 to 2019
respectively
.

Overall
, Burglary was the
first
most crime recorded with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
number of

incidents. Second crime was the
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cartheft
. The least amount of crime incidents

were reported
in robbery.

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Firsty
, In the
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year
2010 burglary
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incidents
were in an amount of 3500.

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while
, cases were
dramatically
declined by the
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year
2019 recorded around

1450. Burglary followed by the car theft,
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started
with 2700 cases.

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But
fallen down to 2000 cases by the
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end
of
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year
2014.
In contrast
,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
cases


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reported
in
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cartheft
was
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rosen
and recorded with same number of
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incidents
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happed


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ned
in the
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begining
of 2010.

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Morevorer
, Robbery
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incidents
were
relatively
low when compared to other crimes.

At the
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begining
cases were about 550 and there are up and downs in the whole period.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
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minimun
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
were about 500 throughout the years.
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IELTS academic Increasing cases throughout the year.

Academic
  American English
9 paragraphs
160 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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